Key Takeaways
- 1Confidence usually shows up after you do the scary thing.
- 2Moving out is not just logistics, it is an emotional reset.
- 3You do not have to carry every box alone, ask for help.
- 4Letting go of stuff and spaces makes room for new seasons.
- 5Resting after a big transition is part of the process, not a luxury.
Hi, sunshine.
This time it is not a cozy vlog on the couch. It is full on moving day. Technically move out day, storage day, Tetris day, emotional day. All of the above.
I wanted to bring you behind the scenes of what it really looks like to close a chapter. Not the Pinterest version with matching labels and calm jazz. The real version. Boxes half open, random trash bags, sweat, family, inside jokes, a little bit of grief, and a whole lot of growth.
The Chaos Before The Calm
The day started how moving days always seem to start. Boxes everywhere. Things you thought you already packed somehow sitting in three different corners of the room. Clothes in the washer that you forgot. A dad on the way. A boyfriend ready to lift the heavy stuff. Me, in the middle, trying to get presentable and still vlog.
One rule for the day: no trip to the car is empty handed.
That turned into the quote of the morning. Every time we stepped outside, something was in our arms. Suitcases, plastic drawers, storage bins, random small things that somehow feel heavier than furniture.
Florida decided to be kind for once. It was early enough that the sun had not gone full “I hate you” yet. September heat is way more gentle than July heat here, so in a weird way the timing worked out.
We split things into little “destiny piles”:
- Storage unit
- Mom and aunt
- Grandparents
- Goodwill
- Trash
Seeing your life laid out like a yard sale in your own apartment hits different. You realize how much you own, how much you never used, and how much you are ready to release.
Playing Tetris With Your Whole Life
Loading the cars and the U-Haul felt like a real life video game. Except the blocks are your dresser, your TV stand, and that one wobbly shelf you and your little sister built together.
My dad is an actual pro at this. He spent around 20 years in the military and moved constantly, so he looks at a crowded room and just sees a puzzle. I would look at the same pile and see stress. He sees a system.
Hearing the straps snap one inch too short, flipping furniture upside down, turning it sideways, laying it flat, then finally getting it snug in place. That whole process reminded me that most things in life are figure out able. It might take a few tries and some “this is so ghetto” commentary, but it gets done.
My job turned into “get content and stay out of the way.” Their job turned into “serve the queen” and lift all the heavy stuff. I did carry things too, calm down, but I will admit I was very happy to have help.
The U-Haul And Doing It Scared
Once the apartment and cars were full, it was U-Haul time.
I was nervous. Like, actually nervous. Empty U-Haul is one thing. U-Haul with all your furniture in the back is another level.
My dad gave me three simple rules:
- Turn slow
- Do not accelerate fast
- Do not brake fast
That is it. Simple, not easy. We had an hour and a half drive ahead of us and I was low key trying not to overthink it.
Here is the part I want you to really hear. I felt nervous the entire time before I started driving. The second I got on the road and started following his advice, something shifted. It was not instant confidence, it was more like, “Oh, I can actually do this.”
By the time we got close to the storage unit, I was out here taking wide turns, handling bumps, even doing a U-turn with a little shake at the end and laughing about it. The fear did not magically disappear. I just proved to myself that I could handle it.
Confidence usually shows up after you do the scary thing, not before.
Storage Units And Emotional Storage
We finally pulled up to the storage place, along with half the city apparently. Suddenly everybody and their mom wanted to move in at the exact same time.
Inside the unit, we started a second round of Tetris. Some things needed easy access. Some could sit in the back for a long time. The unit is climate controlled, which matters for furniture and for peace of mind. You do not want your life melting in a metal box.
Watching my stuff roll past me on carts and dollies felt weird. On one hand, it was relief. The heavy lifting was almost over. On the other hand, it hit me that my whole apartment life from this season now lives behind one metal door in a hallway that echoes.
Sometimes transitions feel like that. You know it is the right move, you feel proud of yourself, and at the same time there is a tiny ache in your chest you cannot fully explain.
Grief In The Middle Of The Move
In the vlog I shared that Dexter, our family dog, passed away. It had been almost two weeks at that point, and I still kept calling Kaix (AJ’s dog) by Dexter’s name.
Grief does not care that you are busy. It does not wait until you have a clear schedule and a calm day. It pops up in storage units, in drive thru lines, in random quiet moments.
Moving out added another layer to that feeling. It was like I was saying goodbye to this apartment and still adjusting to saying goodbye to him. Both at once.
If you are going through a loss and a big life change at the same time, give yourself grace. You are not “too emotional.” You are human.
Cleaning Up And Closing The Door
The next day we came back for part two. Cleaning. Filling holes in the walls. Getting all the remaining little things to Goodwill and to our cars.
I had never filled nail holes before. It actually felt kind of fun, like painting, even if I laid it on a bit thick. Some of them were from Vlogmas decor, some from the TV mount, all little marks of memories and content.
I doubt I will get my full security deposit back. The dryer decided to break right at the end of my lease and it had been acting weird for a while. I still wanted to leave the place as close to how I found it as I could. Clean floors, holes patched, trash out, lights off.
Once everything was out, the echo in the apartment got loud. Empty bedroom. Empty bathroom. Empty closet. It really hit me then.
This place saw a lot.
A year of mental and spiritual growing pains. Quiet nights. Sleepovers. Business calls. Meals cooked half tired and half inspired. Breakdowns. Laughs. Healing.
I am not the same girl packing up that walked in here with full boxes a year ago. I am more grounded. More sure of myself. More aware of what I want and what I do not want.
I thanked the apartment out loud. For the lessons. For the solitude. For the space to go through what I needed to go through and come out better.
Now I get a break from rent, from apartment life, from that era in general. My feet hurt, my body is tired, my flip flops have seen things, but my mind feels lighter.
Sometimes closing a chapter looks like boxes and spackle and a long drive back home. Underneath all of that, it is really about honoring who you were in that space and giving yourself permission to step into who you are becoming next.
