Key Takeaways
- 1Living alone will not feel peaceful until you learn your patterns and set up simple systems that support you.
- 2Discipline grows when you accept how your brain works and design your space and routines around that reality.
- 3Journaling and shadow work help you understand your own reactions instead of staying confused by them.
- 4Romanticizing your life is not pretending everything is pretty, it is choosing to notice small wins during real mess.
- 5Treating yourself like the love of your life turns solo days from lonely stretches into time that actually fills you up.
If you typed something like “how to enjoy living alone” or “how to be comfortable by yourself,” you are in the right place. Living alone can feel quiet, awkward, and a little too loud in your own head at first. I get it. I have spent years living solo and sharing it with hundreds of thousands of people on YouTube, so I have had plenty of practice turning time alone into something that feels safe, fun, and grounding.
This is not about turning into a whole new person. It is about learning how to live with the one person you are stuck with forever: you.
Why does living alone feel so intense at first?
When you live alone, there is no one in the next room telling you to get up for the gym, clean the kitchen, or open your laptop and actually work. Your alarm goes off, you roll over, and if you go back to sleep, nobody knows.
That freedom sounds cute until it is day three of “I will start tomorrow.”
In my place, mornings can start two ways:
- I ignore the alarm and scroll.
- I drag myself out of bed, hit the gym, drink my lemon water and apple cider vinegar mix, and suddenly I feel like a real person again.
The second option never feels fun at first. The difference is simple: I know myself now. If I skip the gym early, I am not going later. If I do not prep fruit the day I get groceries, it will sit there and go bad. If I answer calls at the gym, I start forgetting things.
Living alone exposes all of that. It puts a spotlight on your habits. That can feel intense, but it is lowkey a gift. You get front row seats to what actually helps you and what gets in your way.
How do you build discipline when no one is watching?
Discipline is not about waking up one day as a brand new person. It is about stacking tiny choices that make life easier for the future you.
Here is what that looks like for me:
-
Set traps for your habits, in a good way.
If I buy fruit, I cut it up as soon as I get home. If I do not, I will forget it exists. Knowing that about myself helps me set up systems instead of pretending I am a different person. -
Move early, think less.
Morning workouts work for me. If I wait, my brain will talk me out of it. So I treat it like brushing my teeth. No debate, just move. -
Protect your “me” time.
The gym is my time with myself. I do not pick up the phone. I do not try to multitask. That is part of how I keep my peace and my progress. -
Keep things in your line of sight.
I joke about having undiagnosed ADHD, but it is real that if something is not in front of me, it does not exist. So I keep my journal where I can see it. Same with supplements and my water bottle.
Discipline is less about perfection and more about accepting the way your brain works, then playing on your own team.
What should you journal about when you feel lost with yourself?
People ask me all the time, “What do you even write in your journal?”
Short answer: everything.
Some days it is:
- Intentions for the day
- Venting about how I am tired of my own excuses
- Processing old hurt that still stings
- Writing out what I actually want instead of what I think I should want
Other days I get into deeper work. That is where shadow work comes in. Shadow work is you looking at old moments, childhood, past relationships, and asking, “Why do I react like this? Where did I learn this?” It is honest and sometimes uncomfortable, but it gives you clarity you cannot get by keeping everything in your head.
When you flip back through old pages months later, you get to see proof that you are not the same person. You see how you handled something then versus how you would handle it now. That alone helps you feel more at home with yourself.
How do you romanticize living alone without lying to yourself?
You will see cute “romanticize your life” content on Pinterest and TikTok. Candles, matcha, sunlight on white sheets. I love all of that, but real life is not an aesthetic board.
In my real solo days, it looks like:
- Waking up with a huge pimple and filming anyway.
- Mixing gut health drinks that taste more like vinegar than lemon, but knowing my stomach will thank me later.
- Taking myself to the gym, sweating through core workouts, and leaving proud and shaky.
- Sitting in a bookstore with my laptop, editing for hours, and resisting the urge to buy five more books.
- Wandering through Target for hair products, body care, and a new journal, then catching myself grabbing something only because it is pink.
- Cooking random meals from whatever I have at home instead of buying food every time I crave it.
Romanticizing your life is not about pretending everything is perfect. It is about choosing to notice the soft parts in between the messy ones. The small wins: finding your lost water bottle at the gym, nailing a workout, finally hitting “upload” on a video, or eating a homemade meal that actually slaps.
How can you treat yourself like the love of your life?
One of my favorite parts of living alone is that I get to be my own Valentine, my own roommate, and my own partner all in one.
That looks like:
- Planning a solo trip for Valentine’s Day instead of waiting for someone else to make the day special
- Pouring a glass of wine and coloring at night just to unwind
- Dressing up for errands so I feel like “that girl” in the Target aisles
- Investing in jewelry so even sweatpants feel pulled together
- Cooking steak, eggs, and avocado for dinner with real care, like I am cooking for someone I love
For years, my Valentine’s Day centered around other people and left me disappointed. Now I already know this year will be better, since I am in charge of how I treat myself.
You do not have to move cities or book a solo flight to start doing this. You can:
- Pick one night this week to cook yourself a real meal, not just snacks.
- Light a candle and journal instead of falling asleep on your phone.
- Create a Pinterest board of your “higher self” and look at her every morning.
The more you show up for yourself, the more normal it feels to enjoy your own company.
Start building a life you like living with you in it
Living alone will put a spotlight on your patterns, your excuses, and your growth. It can feel loud at first, but that silence gives you space to meet yourself for real.
So here is your little homework from me:
Pick one thing from this list and do it within the next 24 hours:
- A slow journal session with no music or background noise
- A morning walk or workout before you touch your phone
- A future self Pinterest board that you actually look at
- A simple solo meal where you sit at the table and eat without distractions
Ask yourself, “If I treated time with myself like time with someone I love, what would change today?”
Then try it. Your life alone will start to feel less like an empty room and more like a home.
