Key Takeaways
- 1Treat Valentine’s Day as a celebration of your relationship with yourself, not a test of whether you have a partner.
- 2Planning a solo Valentine’s trip or night in can feel special when you prep for it with the same energy you would bring to a date.
- 3Writing a love letter to yourself before Valentine’s Day gives you something meaningful to open that does not depend on anyone else.
- 4Little routines like pedicures, hair care, and pajama shopping become self love when you do them for your own comfort and joy.
- 5The way you show up for yourself on days like Valentine’s sets the standard for how you will let future partners show up for you.
If you just searched “how to spend Valentine’s Day single” or “solo Valentine’s Day ideas that do not feel sad,” pull up a seat. This year I refused to sit at home scrolling through couple posts while pretending I did not care. I turned Valentine’s Day into a solo love trip instead. I have spent years sharing my life, dating history, and glow ups with hundreds of thousands of you on YouTube, so let me walk you through how I made this one of my favorite holidays without a partner in sight.
I packed a suitcase, booked a trip to Atlanta, and decided that Valentine’s Day would be my excuse to love on myself louder than ever.
Why I Stopped Waiting For Someone To “Give” Me Valentine’s Day
Quick backstory. I had three rough Valentine’s Days in a row. The kind that leave you staring at your phone, hoping a text will hit, trying not to cry into your takeout.
This year I looked at the calendar and thought, “Absolutely not. We are not doing this again.”
So I flipped the script. Instead of asking, “Who am I spending Valentine’s Day with,” I asked, “How do I want to feel that week?” I wanted to feel:
- Soft, but not sad
- Romantic, even without a date
- Proud of the way I showed up for myself
That is where the plan started. A solo retreat, a work trip, and a little self care boot camp, all packed into one week. I decided the holiday would not revolve around a man. It would revolve around me.
How Do You Spend Valentine’s Day Single Without Feeling Left Out?
You do not avoid the holiday. You claim it.
For this trip, I treated Valentine’s Day like it was my anniversary with myself. I planned around it on purpose:
- I booked a trip to Atlanta to see friends and create content
- I planned a solo Valentine’s night in at an Airbnb
- I scheduled a photo shoot for my podcast rebrand
- I picked outfits that made me feel like the main character
On the surface, it might look like errands, pedicures, and outfit hunting. Underneath, it is a whole mindset. I was not “filling time.” I was building a week around the version of me I am growing into.
If you catch yourself feeling left out, try this question:
“If I already had the partner I want, how would I want them to treat me on Valentine’s Day?”
Whatever comes up, start giving that to yourself now. Gifts. Flowers. A nice dinner. A cute trip. A long drive with good music. You do not have to wait.
What Does A Solo Valentine’s Prep Day Actually Look Like?
Here is the unfiltered version.
My toes were tragic, so first stop was a pedicure. Not for a man. Not for Instagram. For that quiet feeling you get when you look down and think, “Okay girl, we are put together again.”
Then I hit Wawa for gas and a breakfast burrito, sat at the pump, and genuinely felt happy about life. Nothing fancy. Just sun on my face, food in my hand, and that quiet little “wow, I built this” moment.
After that came the errands marathon:
- TJ Maxx for a pink-adjacent pajama set
- A new journal that felt soft and girly for morning pages
- Cream jeans for a photo shoot outfit
- Walmart runs for deodorant, body care, and snacks
- A trip home to open packages and try on outfits
It sounds simple, but stacking those tiny actions turns into one big message to yourself: “You are worth effort, even when no one is watching.”
Why A Love Letter To Yourself Hits Different
My favorite part of this whole prep was the love letter.
Late at night, I sat with colored pens, pencils, and a blank page. I wrote a full letter to myself to open on Valentine’s Day. Not a cute caption. A real letter.
I wrote about:
- What I love about my personality
- How far I have come in the past year
- The parts of me that still feel tender, but are trying
- What I hope future me feels when she looks back at this season
If you want to try this, here is a simple template you can steal:
- Start with “Dear [your name], I am proud of you for…” and list real things from this year.
- Write about one hard thing you survived and how you showed up for yourself.
- Describe the version of you that you are becoming in the next 6 to 12 months.
- End it like a real love letter: “I love you for…” and go all in.
Seal it in an envelope or tuck it into a journal. Open it on Valentine’s Day. Your words to yourself will land deeper than any text from a situationship ever could.
How Do You Make Errands And Maintenance Feel Romantic?
The secret is to stop treating them like chores you rush through for someone else.
During this prep week I:
- Redid my hair with a curly routine that actually feels cute
- Used Nair on my upper lip while talking to you like you were in the bathroom with me
- Picked out soft pajama sets that match the Valentine’s vibe
- Packed outfits that fit my style instead of grabbing random “going out” clothes
- Took time to glow up my car for the road trip
None of this required a partner. It came from a simple standard: my life deserves effort, even for “normal” days. Once you start viewing maintenance as part of your self respect, it becomes easier to enjoy.
Put on music. Light a candle. Talk to yourself in the mirror. Make it a whole moment.
Try This For Your Own Solo Valentine’s Day
If you want to build your own solo Valentine’s tradition, here is a simple plan inspired by this week of my life:
- Pick a theme. Solo retreat in your city, a road trip, a fancy night in, or a “soft life” day at home.
- Choose one anchor event. A photo shoot, a picnic, a beach day, a nice dinner you cook for yourself, or a spa night.
- Prep like you would for a date. Pedicure, hair, outfit, perfume, playlist. The way you show up for someone else, do that for you.
- Write your love letter. Even one page can shift how you feel when that day rolls around.
- Set a simple rule. No texting past flings, no stalking couples all night, no talking down to yourself. You set the tone.
Valentine’s Day does not have to be proof that you are alone. It can be proof that you know how to love yourself on purpose. The more you practice that now, the higher your standard becomes for anyone who joins your life later.
You deserve flowers from others, sure. Start by giving them to yourself first.
