If you clicked on this video because you are trying to figure out how to be happy by yourself, you are in the right place. This whole day was one big love letter to my own company, my faith, and my sanity. Yes, we talked about veneers and cavities at one point, but under all the chaos there was a real message:
You have to learn to be with you before you try to be with anybody else.
Let us break down what this solo day really taught me.
Dating Yourself Comes Before Dating Anyone Else
People always ask, “How do I stay positive in my single phase?” To me, that question is already a red flag.
It should not be about surviving a “phase.” It should be about actually learning who you are without constant noise from other people.
Even though I am in a relationship, it is long distance, so I spend a lot of time alone. I really feel like God set it up that way on purpose. If I lived right next to my man from the beginning, I would have poured everything into him and forgot about myself.
Here is what helped me get comfortable with my own company:
- Go through the awkward stage. There is a season where being alone feels itchy. You want to call someone, scroll, distract yourself, anything. That stage is normal. You have to move through it, not run from it.
- Be alone without your phone. Laying in bed on TikTok does not count as “being alone.” That is you plus millions of strangers. Try sitting in silence, journaling, stretching, or praying.
- Take yourself on real dates. Coffee shop, park, movie, solo dinner. Pick things you would usually “wait for someone” to do with you, then go alone. You might feel a little weird at first, but later you will realize nothing bad happened and you feel closer to yourself.
When you date yourself, you learn what you like, what you value, how you think. That makes it a lot easier to spot the kind of relationships that deserve a front row seat in your life.
Getting Closer To Yourself And Closer To God
One of the biggest things I learned in my alone seasons is this:
The quieter my life is, the easier it is to hear God.
When you finally sit with your own thoughts and calm them down, ideas and answers start dropping in that feel bigger than you. Times where I received clarity about things I had been confused about for years did not happen in a group chat. They happened in silence.
The more honest I became with myself, the more love I felt from God, and the more love I had for God. It all circles back.
That does not mean you need a perfect routine or some super aesthetic spiritual setup. It just means mind, body, and soul are actually on the same page for once. A walk outside, a quiet car ride without music, ten minutes of journaling, that all counts.
Fear Will Not Disappear, So Move Anyway
Another question that came up a lot was about fear and chasing big dreams.
Most of us think we are scared of failing. Some of us are actually scared of things going right. Fear of success is real. Fear of being seen is real. Fear of “what if I get everything I want and lose it” is real.
Here is the truth my brain did not want to hear:
You will never wake up one day and feel completely ready and fearless.
Your mind is built to keep you safe. New things do not feel safe, so your brain will always vote for staying in the same place, even if you say you want more.
You do not wait for motivation then move. You move first, then motivation shows up.
Think about every time you tried something new. Driving, going to the gym, a first class, a new hobby. It felt scary, then you did it and thought, “Wait, that was not even that bad.” Then you wanted to do it again. That pattern never stops. You just get better at acting while scared.
Regret, High School Mistakes, And Forgiving Your Past Self
Do I regret things from high school? Yes. Can I tell you what they are? Absolutely not. Just know it involved toys and a girl who did not know her worth yet.
I used to carry a lot of shame about stuff like that. Then I realized regret is basically holding a grudge against your past self. It drains you, and it does not change anything.
What helped me:
- I pictured my younger self exactly where she was when she made that choice.
- I let myself feel how scared, confused, or desperate for attention she was.
- Then I literally told her, “I forgive you. You did not know better. You are safe now.”
That is self love too. Not just baths and skincare, but being able to look at your worst moments and say, “That was not my best, but I still love me.”
You can regret a choice without living inside that regret forever.
Fake Friends, Boundaries, And Saying No Without Apologizing
Let us talk about fake friends for a second.
Most of the time, fake friends have one thing in common: they want something from you. Your energy, your kindness, your attention, your access, sometimes your money. Givers naturally attract takers. If you are not careful and you do not set boundaries, they will keep taking until you are empty.
Signs it is time to let people go:
- You are always overgiving and they barely show up.
- You feel drained or anxious after hanging out, not refreshed.
- You notice they are supportive until you start winning.
Saying no is not mean. It is part of loving yourself. The people who benefit from you having no boundaries will always call your boundaries “a problem.” That does not mean you need to go back to having none.
Detachment Without Turning Your Heart Off
Detachment gets a bad reputation. People think it means not caring, but that is not it.
For me, detachment means understanding that anything in life can change. Relationships, jobs, money, cars, homes. None of it is really “ours” in a permanent way.
So instead of clinging to one outcome, I remind myself:
- What is meant for me will not miss me.
- I can love things and people deeply without building my entire identity on them.
- If something leaves, I will still have God and myself.
That mindset makes it easier to enjoy what I have right now without gripping it so tight that I suffocate it.
What My Solo Day Looked Like In Real Life
This video was not just me talking. I actually took myself on three dates in one day:
- Date 1: The park. Coloring with my new alcohol markers, freezing in the wind, listening to music and letting my inner child play. Coloring is low key therapy.
- Date 2: Sushi. I took myself out to my favorite spot, ordered my shrimp tempura rolls, sipped a Shirley Temple, and stayed off my phone as much as possible so I could actually be present.
- Date 3: Movie premiere. I went to an early screening of “Now You See Me Now You Do not.” No trailers, critics in the room, a fun plot twist, and me sitting there proud that I showed up for myself all day.
The day ended with a long intentional shower, skincare, journaling, and talking to God about how grateful I am. For growth, for lessons, for provision, for you watching this.
Your Turn To Take Yourself Out
If you are still scared to go places alone, here is your homework:
Pick one small solo date this week. Coffee, a walk, the park, a bookstore, a matinee movie. Something that feels slightly uncomfortable but still safe.
Leave your phone in your bag for a bit. Talk to God. Talk to yourself. Notice your thoughts. Notice how it feels to just be with you.
It will feel weird at first. Then one day, you will catch yourself smiling in public with nobody around and realize:
You are actually starting to enjoy your own company.
